This just in from John Kerry. We were asked to post his resume. Even though we are the Radical Right, we have agreed to post his resume, in the interest of fairness.

JOB APPLICATION

NAME: John Kerry

RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including one in Washington DC, worth
multi-millions. I served in Vietnam (four months).

EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement. In my career as a U.S. Senator, I've voted to cut every
law enforcement, CIA, and Defense bill. I ordered the city of Boston to
remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my
neighbors in the event of fire. I served in Vietnam (four months).

MILITARY:
I served in Vietnam (four months). I used three minor injuries to get an
early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as documented by
the attending doctor). I served in Vietnam (four months). I then returned
to the U.S., joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning
Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers. I
served in Vietnam (four months). I threw my medals, ribbons, or something
away in protest. Or did I? My book "Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The
New Soldier", shows how I truly feel about the military. I served in
Vietnam (four months).

COLLEGE:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my counterpart
George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard
nor graduate with an M.B.A

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
After College and Vietnam, I ran for the U.S. Congress and have been there
ever since. I have no real world experience except marrying very rich women
and running their companies vicariously through them. I served in Vietnam
(four months).

ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
As a U.S. Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record,
exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed
to support our military and CIA by voting against their budgets, thus
gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the
Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I
voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help this
country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected. I served
in Vietnam (four months).

My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will
never catch up. I make little or no charitable contributions and have never
agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in Massachusetts, despite family
wealth in excess of $ 700 million. I served in Vietnam (four months).

I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places
like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the cheaper cost
of labor in those Countries, although I blame George Bush for sending all of
the other jobs out of Country. I served in Vietnam (four months).

Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy
and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil
our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts. I served in Vietnam (four
months).

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
None. However, I served in Vietnam (four months).

PERSONAL I practice my Catholic faith whenever cameras are present. I ride a
Serotta Bike. I love to ski/snowboard. I call my Gulfstream V Jet the
"Flying Squirrel". I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the
"Scarmouche".

I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real culture.

I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer
mansion, though I am against large, polluting, inefficient vehicles and
blame George Bush for our energy problems. I served in Vietnam (four
months).

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.